Day 7, ESWS, Part 1.

NOTE (3/2/26): I just found this blog entry in draft from over 11 years ago. I did not edit or finish it, because I want it to reflect my thoughts and feelings from that time. It is hard to believe that my mom had an aortic dissection the following year, then passed away 17 months later. I am so grateful that we had the opportunity to go to Korea together. She was always the one person with whom I wanted to travel to my birth country. We would have missed this trip if we had waited even one year. 

Today (11/27/14) was the most personal and emotional day spent in Korea so far. 

I visited the Korean agency, Eastern Social Welfare Society, that facilitated my adoption on this end. 

I scheduled this visit before leaving the States and was able to tour some of their facilities, visit with their president, and review my adoption file. 

First, Mom and I were given the opportunity to tour Eastern Welfare Town in Pyeongtaek. This area houses several facilities that are run by ESWS. It was about a 45 minute drive from Seoul. Thankfully, ESWS picked us up at our hotel and drove us there! We got to enjoy the scenery. The main thing I noticed on the drive were the huge, sky high apartment buildings! I can only imagine how many floors they must have. 

Eastern Welfare Home includes Esther's Home (shelter for unwed mothers), Jacob's Home (orphanage for children ages 4 and under), Dongbang School (school for children with physical and mental disabilities), a residential center for individuals with special needs, and a rehabilitation center that provides job training for adults with special needs. 

The son of ESWS's president gave us a personal tour of the facilities. We saw some men with intellectual disabilities loading a truck (part of the vocational rehabilitation center) and they smiled really big and told us "anyeongeso!" (Hello!). We also saw children at work in their classrooms (it was during school hours) and met with a counselor that works at Esther's Home. 

It was very, very interesting to hear about social services in Korea. Especially since I work in similar field at home!

I can't remember everything that was said, but two things that stood out were:

1) The Korean government is wanting to close facilities like theirs down (which house several residents in one building) and move special needs individuals into settings more similar to group homes. This is primarily in regard to staff/resident ratio concerns. This sounds good in theory, but several questions are raised. For instance, government funding is already being cut for social services, and there are questions about paying for the additional staff it would take to run several smaller facilities. 

2) Adoption laws have changed. The Korean government now requires both parents to sign and relinquish their rights in order to give up their babies for adoption. They are also pushing for more domestic placements rather than international placements because they believe it is better for babies to remain in their culture of origin. As a result, the number of international adoptions has been declining over recent years. 

3) While visiting Esther's Home, it was mentioned how this facility was the first to provide counseling services to birth mothers planning on giving up their babies for adoption. Before this, birth mothers used to make calls saying that they felt "guilty" or had thoughts about killing their babies. However, the number of calls have drastically declined after these counseling services started being offered. This really struck a chord with me. 

Interestingly, during all of this discussion, I never heard the words "depression" or "anxiety," even in hearing stories of the struggles that birth mothers face. These words that are so commonplace at home, but almost seem secretive or taboo over here. I can tell that there is a stigma against mental health treatment in this society. 

I also have noticed that I never see mental health centers over here. At home, you drive by MHMR or see signs for counseling agencies. You see ads in magazines or on television for antidepressants. Not here. 

While we were at Esther's Home, we found out that some of the residents had just made a batch of kimchi. They offered us some. I declined, but Mom was all for it! She even ate my portion!!

After this, we were allowed to go play with children at Jacob's Home. These children are ages 4 and under and have been relinquished by their families due to financial hardship or divorce. It is temporary in the sense that they may go back to their families or with another relative after they "age out" of the facility, but many of the children remain orphans. None of these children are eligible to be adopted. 

It is customary to bring gifts in Korea, so we had brought Texas magnets for the drivers, tour guides, etc. but Mom had also brought stickers for the children. The worker told us that we could give them to the children ourselves. 

Even with the language barrier, the children understood what stickers were! They were eager for us to give them some and used the ENTIRE sheet of 50+. Each child wanted to put the stickers on our faces, hands, and fingers! They also adorned themselves as well. I can't post pictures of the children for privacy reasons, but here are a few pictures in which they are unidentifiable. 

[Orphanage Pics]

Mom bonded quickly with the boys. They would "scare" her and she would pretend to scream. They also loved posing for the camera! I played more with the girls. These sweet children were vibrant and full of personality. However, at the same time, I could tell they craved attention and physical closeness. They loved sitting in our laps and crowded around us to see what we were doing. 

It was seriously one of the most fun half hours of my life. When the children were lining up to leave, one of the little girls said something to her teacher in Korean. She translated. "She said today was really fun and she will never forget this day."

I must admit that I left wondering what the future holds for these precious lives. It was very disheartening to realize most of them will never return to their families. And again, they cannot be adopted. Even more sobering? I could have been one of those children if I had been born under the new adoption laws. As far as I can tell, my birth father was never in the picture. It is highly unlikely they could have obtained his consent for the adoption. 

Day 6, Cat Cafe, Part 2.

More cat cafe pictures.

I found that several Korean cats have rounder faces than American cats. 

However, round faces or not, tabbies still make tabby expressions. They acted just like Tipper! 

I saw my first hairless kitty! As you can probably tell, she was not thrilled about me taking her picture.

This was my last lap buddy of the day. His name is Diesel, but I kept referring to him as "Sphinxy" due to his face shape. He even took a selfie with me!

Mom found plenty of kitty love too! I joked that the kitty in her selfie had slanted "Asian" eyes. And yes, I can make that joke because I have "Asian" eyes myself. 

I think we stayed at the cat cafe for almost three hours. It was so peaceful and relaxing. Definitely a nice atmosphere! Especially after I spent all morning being frustrated about not being able to find restaurants. 

We spent the evening shopping at Gangnam Station. It houses one of the bigger underground shopping centers in SeouI and resembles a mini mall. I actually bought a sweater, but I am not sure if it is going to fit. Almost all of the clothes sold in the subway stations are "one size fits most," and there are no fitting rooms available for you to try things on. Oh well. I decided to take a gamble!

While shopping, we ran into an older lady who asked where we were from. After we told her, she started singing "The Star Spangled Banner." She was so cute. 

Interestingly, the lady was surprised that I was adopted because she thought Mom and I "looked alike!" She also told me that I had a "White mark." I think she was referring to the mole on my forehead.

Dinner was hot dogs. We tried some with "Korean" toppings though. I am not sure what all was on what, but Mom's hot dog was called "bulkalbi" and mine was called "snowing." They were definitely different from the chili cheese dogs we normally eat!

We stopped at a small grocery store called Home Plus Express on the way back to the hotel. They had the elusive Coke Light (AKA Diet Coke)! I bought two cans. I have not drank one yet, but I am pretty excited!

Day 6, Cat Cafe, Part 1.

We went in search of an American breakfast (pancakes, omelets, etc.) cafe today. I found a recommended one online and took screenshots of how to get there. 

Unfortunately, the directions were COMPLETELY wrong! 

We wandered around for awhile, but all we could find were donut and coffee shops. We finally ate an approximately $14.00 cheese pizza just because we were starving. It was not that good.

I am definitely becoming irritated with my inability to find restaurants over here. Most restaurants are in basements or on upper floors, and I cannot read signs. To top it off, I can rarely find street signs/address numbers, and I do not have data on my phone for Googling restaurants or accessing maps. It really sucks to "settle" for food from places like Burger King simply because I cannot find anything better. 

Sigh. Anyway. 

We headed to a cat cafe next! This was an absolute "must do" thing on our list while visiting Korea. 

Thankfully, we found the cat cafe with little difficulty! 

Notice that it is on the fourth floor of this building. I had to look up to find the sign! 

The giant lint rollers provided in the entryway cracked me up!

Once inside, we paid an admission of about $8.00 each and chose a free coffee, soda, or juice. We then got to hang out with the kitties! They were all over us before we even sat down. We had to put our bags in some under seat storage, so they were trying to go inside the cabinets, of course. They were also climbing into our laps and jumping up on the table to explore our drinks. You can tell they know the drill on how to get attention from cafe patrons! 

These were my first two lap buddies. 

The cat cafe had a pretty awesome layout. There was a whole wall of "houses" and plenty of shelves, perches, and scratching posts located around the room. The cats also had a water fountain in addition to their food dispensers. 

It was strange realizing that these cats only understood Korean. Saying "kitty, kitty" did not work in getting them to come over to you! Then again, they may have just been being typical stubborn cats! Cats definitely do what they want to do AND only when they want to do it! 

Of course, cats in any culture still meow, purr, hiss, fight over attention, and help people by sitting in front of their drinks or on their books! 

To be continued...

Day 5, N Seoul Tower.

Mom and I journeyed to N Seoul Tower (Namsan Tower) today. 

This time, we ran into transportation difficulties! 

You could take an express bus or a cable car to the tower after getting off the subway. 

Well, we made it to the correct subway exit...but we could not find the bus stop! Then, once we found the bus stop (15 minutes later), we never saw any busses that said "express" or had the right number on them! We finally gave up and ended up walking to the cable car station. It was much more expensive to take the cable car, but we were too frustrated and tired to care. Plus, we had already lost a lot of time! 

Views from the cable car. 

The cable car took us to the base of the tower. This area was pretty neat in and of itself. Look at this beautiful gazebo-like structure!

This tower is famous for its "locks of love." Tens of thousands of people have bought padlocks, engraved/written on them, and locked them at different places around the base of the tower. These locks symbolize "forever love" and people take the keys home with them. Mom made one for Dad, and I made one for my Turning Pointe dance students and friends!

Unfortunately, I did not think to take pictures of the locks before the sun went down. Oh well. 

I seriously thought these were Christmas trees at first. Nope! "Padlock trees," I suppose.

People can also leave "love tiles" inside of the tower. 

The panoramic view of Seoul from the top of the tower was amazing! Even better, we got to see the cityscape change from daytime to nighttime. 

In addition, this tower features Seoul's highest post office... (We mailed postcards from here. So fun!)

...and Seoul's highest restroom!

Hey, I was born here!

Day 4, Insadong.

Day 4. I think our bodies are adjusting better to the time difference as far as sleeping goes.

We met up with Kayla and went shopping in Insadong this afternoon. They have a "traditional street" full of souvenirs and gifts.

Waiting for the subway and having fun with reflections!

Prior to Insadong, Mom and I left the hotel a little early to "look" for a place to have lunch. BAD IDEA! The closest thing we could find to restaurants were coffee shops, and then, once we finally got steered in the right direction, we encountered more problems!

We went to one restaurant where they could not understand what we were saying at ALL. The waitress even threw her hands up in exasperation at one point and walked away. It was ironic because this restaurant was in an alley specifically geared toward tourists (according to a sign) who want to try Korean food! Anyway, we ended up leaving because they did not know what we were asking AND their plates were about $25.00 each.

We then went to another restaurant, but they would not let us share an entree. This meant that the meal would have been close to $40.00! No thanks again. That is way too much to spend on lunch. 

We finally settled for a deli located in a bookstore in the subway station. We tried a sausage rice omelet. It was weird to eat an omelet stuffed with rice! 

I got a great start on buying souvenirs in Insadong. Items are so colorful and unique here! Mom told one of the shopkeepers that I was her daughter, and I think she was a little surprised! However, once I open my mouth to speak, it does not take people long to figure out that I am a foreigner. 

One thing I noticed about the shopkeepers is that they are PUSHY! They literally hover over your shoulder while you are looking at items and try to convince you to buy them (i.e. "Very pretty!"). Also, when you are paying, they rush you even if it is obvious that you are looking for your money. They keep repeating the amount to you as if you did not understand them the first time! I realize that this is a cultural thing, but it really goes against my beliefs of being patient with people and respecting their personal space. I honestly find it all a little off-putting and try to buy from vendors that are less pushy with me. 

Starbucks Coffee...in Korean!

After shopping, we went to dinner at a hole in the wall restaurant that served mandu (dumplings). We shared a combination plate that included fried and steamed dumplings filled with pork, kimchi, or japchae. They were very good and inexpensive!

I really enjoyed getting to shop today! I still have several more things to buy though. Tomorrow, I think we are going to N Seoul Tower (Namsan Tower).

Day 3, Sweet Reunions.

Tonight, we reunited with the two exchange students, Aimee (Jeong) and Yuna (Jiwon), we met at Angelo State University last year! It was SO good to see them.

On the way to the subway station, Mom and I ran into Garfield! He was advertising a cat cafe. 

Notice our two fingers! This gesture is very common in Korea when taking pictures, but I am not really sure what it means. 

UPDATE: It is like a victory sign!

Walking around town. Look at the lights!

We all went out to dinner (Kayla came too!) and had samgyupsal (pork). A chef prepared it at our table and then we wrapped it in lettuce or this other green vegetable. The other vegetable reminded me of kelp or spinach, and it was actually really good! I tried one bite of the red sauce, but I did not care for it. 

Dinner was a blast! We had so much fun together and made some lasting memories. 

Mom and I brought Aimee and Yuna some Texas tote bags full of snacks. They loved them, and it was fun to see their reactions to our gifts! 

After dinner, we went to a dessert cafe. Yum! We tried snowflake sherbet topped with sweet red beans, snowflake sherbet topped with cheesecake, and injeolmi honey bread. The snowflake sherbet was literally like eating snow! Softer than American snow cones even. 

The girls taught us how to pose for pictures Korean style (see top picture). It is supposed to signify "I am so cute" as well as draw attention away from the face. Koreans do not want their faces to appear round, so these gestures are supposed to make the face appear more V shaped.

Day 3, Transferring Hotels.

I slept in this morning which was much needed. While I was sleeping, Mom was chatting it up with a lady from the Philippines (who spoke English) in the breakfast nook. 

Lindsey: Sleeping

Brenda: Socializing

Sounds about right!

We transferred to our new hotel today, so we took our time getting ready this morning. We did not want to drag our heavy luggage all over town! 

After checking out, we walked (or more precisely, waddled, if you take our luggage into account) to a nearby Italian restaurant for lunch. We had salmon cream spaghetti and garlic bread. Everything was spiced a little bit differently compared to home (i.e. the garlic bread had a sweet taste to it), so it had some Korean flair! The whole meal was delicious though!

One thing that is interesting about Seoul is that their businesses/restaurants are stacked. As in, you have to look up when you are walking down the street to see everything that is available. For instance, that Italian restaurant was located on the second floor. However, I really only found it because they had a billboard advertisement on the sidewalk. I guess I need to get better about looking up! 

We took a taxi to our new hotel. The ride was bumpy, hot, and pretty terrible honestly. The traffic is horrible here and drivers have to constantly slam on their brakes. After an hour of stop, go, stop, go, stop, go...I was definitely a little motion sick! We made it though, and it only cost us 20,000 KRW (about $20.00)! 

Our new hotel is SO nice. It is set up like an extended stay hotel and has an air filter system, a heated floor, a washing machine, and...a bidet toilet! 

Mom and I played around with the buttons on the bidet toilet. We discovered that some of the buttons only work if you actually sit on the toilet, so I volunteered. I did not get up fast enough after pushing the "feminine wash" button though! Oops. Nothing like getting sprayed by a bidet nozzle!

So far, we have deciphered the "wash," "feminine wash," "air dry," and "air freshener" buttons, but we have not been brave enough to try any of them! Sadly, it actually took us a few minutes to figure out how to flush the toilet. 

Speaking of toilets, I found a squatty potty in the subway station! No, I did not use it. 

I think I will leave the bidet toilet and squatty potty here. I would gladly take the heated floor home though! 

Some cultural notes:

1) People are always in a hurry here, and they will bump into you/push you to get wherever they are going. At first, I thought that I was just not paying attention to where I was walking, but then I realized that people are going to barrel through me no matter where I am at! I have constantly said "sorry" and "excuse me" out of habit, but that is not something that is said here. In fact, no one seems to notice when they run into you. It is like you are invisible! At the lantern festival, Mom and I were coming around a corner, and we literally got slammed into a railing. It was like a herd of cattle! I would NOT want to go Black Friday shopping here (if they had it). I would probably be trampled! 

2) I have learned how to say "hello" and "thank you" in Korean, so I have been working on using those words first before speaking in English. Of course, I usually follow it with an English "hello" or "thank you" - just in case I butchered the words in Korean! 

3) People bow here a lot. At first, it caught me off guard (even though I knew to expect it), but it is feeling more natural for me to return the gesture now. It is like a non-verbal way of greeting or thanking someone. 

4) Kayla taught me how to say "chogiyo," which is how you call a waiter/waitress to your table when you are ready to order or need something. They do not come to you; rather, you call them over!

5) We have definitely encountered some very kind Koreans. One guy off the street offered to carry Mom's suitcase up the stairs for her, our waitress gave us a free dessert at lunch today, and a guy at the lantern festival last night asked where we were from and kept saying, "Enjoy, enjoy (your stay in a Korea)!" when he found out that we were from America.