NOTE (3/2/26): I just found this blog entry in draft from over 11 years ago. I did not edit or finish it, because I want it to reflect my thoughts and feelings from that time. It is hard to believe that my mom had an aortic dissection the following year, then passed away 17 months later. I am so grateful that we had the opportunity to go to Korea together. She was always the one person with whom I wanted to travel to my birth country. We would have missed this trip if we had waited even one year.
I visited the Korean agency, Eastern Social Welfare Society, that facilitated my adoption on this end.
I scheduled this visit before leaving the States and was able to tour some of their facilities, visit with their president, and review my adoption file.
First, Mom and I were given the opportunity to tour Eastern Welfare Town in Pyeongtaek. This area houses several facilities that are run by ESWS. It was about a 45 minute drive from Seoul. Thankfully, ESWS picked us up at our hotel and drove us there! We got to enjoy the scenery. The main thing I noticed on the drive were the huge, sky high apartment buildings! I can only imagine how many floors they must have.
Eastern Welfare Home includes Esther's Home (shelter for unwed mothers), Jacob's Home (orphanage for children ages 4 and under), Dongbang School (school for children with physical and mental disabilities), a residential center for individuals with special needs, and a rehabilitation center that provides job training for adults with special needs.
The son of ESWS's president gave us a personal tour of the facilities. We saw some men with intellectual disabilities loading a truck (part of the vocational rehabilitation center) and they smiled really big and told us "anyeongeso!" (Hello!). We also saw children at work in their classrooms (it was during school hours) and met with a counselor that works at Esther's Home.
It was very, very interesting to hear about social services in Korea. Especially since I work in similar field at home!
I can't remember everything that was said, but two things that stood out were:
1) The Korean government is wanting to close facilities like theirs down (which house several residents in one building) and move special needs individuals into settings more similar to group homes. This is primarily in regard to staff/resident ratio concerns. This sounds good in theory, but several questions are raised. For instance, government funding is already being cut for social services, and there are questions about paying for the additional staff it would take to run several smaller facilities.
2) Adoption laws have changed. The Korean government now requires both parents to sign and relinquish their rights in order to give up their babies for adoption. They are also pushing for more domestic placements rather than international placements because they believe it is better for babies to remain in their culture of origin. As a result, the number of international adoptions has been declining over recent years.
3) While visiting Esther's Home, it was mentioned how this facility was the first to provide counseling services to birth mothers planning on giving up their babies for adoption. Before this, birth mothers used to make calls saying that they felt "guilty" or had thoughts about killing their babies. However, the number of calls have drastically declined after these counseling services started being offered. This really struck a chord with me.
Interestingly, during all of this discussion, I never heard the words "depression" or "anxiety," even in hearing stories of the struggles that birth mothers face. These words that are so commonplace at home, but almost seem secretive or taboo over here. I can tell that there is a stigma against mental health treatment in this society.
I also have noticed that I never see mental health centers over here. At home, you drive by MHMR or see signs for counseling agencies. You see ads in magazines or on television for antidepressants. Not here.
While we were at Esther's Home, we found out that some of the residents had just made a batch of kimchi. They offered us some. I declined, but Mom was all for it! She even ate my portion!!
After this, we were allowed to go play with children at Jacob's Home. These children are ages 4 and under and have been relinquished by their families due to financial hardship or divorce. It is temporary in the sense that they may go back to their families or with another relative after they "age out" of the facility, but many of the children remain orphans. None of these children are eligible to be adopted.
It is customary to bring gifts in Korea, so we had brought Texas magnets for the drivers, tour guides, etc. but Mom had also brought stickers for the children. The worker told us that we could give them to the children ourselves.
Even with the language barrier, the children understood what stickers were! They were eager for us to give them some and used the ENTIRE sheet of 50+. Each child wanted to put the stickers on our faces, hands, and fingers! They also adorned themselves as well. I can't post pictures of the children for privacy reasons, but here are a few pictures in which they are unidentifiable.
[Orphanage Pics]
Mom bonded quickly with the boys. They would "scare" her and she would pretend to scream. They also loved posing for the camera! I played more with the girls. These sweet children were vibrant and full of personality. However, at the same time, I could tell they craved attention and physical closeness. They loved sitting in our laps and crowded around us to see what we were doing.
It was seriously one of the most fun half hours of my life. When the children were lining up to leave, one of the little girls said something to her teacher in Korean. She translated. "She said today was really fun and she will never forget this day."
I must admit that I left wondering what the future holds for these precious lives. It was very disheartening to realize most of them will never return to their families. And again, they cannot be adopted. Even more sobering? I could have been one of those children if I had been born under the new adoption laws. As far as I can tell, my birth father was never in the picture. It is highly unlikely they could have obtained his consent for the adoption.
